Quiet but intense, the INFP and INTJ relationship is filled with loyalty and thoughts that stretch out in many directions.
At first glance, it may appear that the INTJ, also known as the mastermind, and the INFP, also known as the empath, have very different ideas about what forms an ideal relationship. But can they work?
INFPs are known to value love, family, and creative or non-profit work in their lives. In terms of demeanor, they are reserved, idealistic, and adaptive. They are inquisitive individuals who are frequently immersed in thinking. Furthermore, they prefer to be alone or in small groups, and they want to listen to and consider the opinions of those around them.
INTJs, on the other hand, are analytical, independent thinkers who are ambitious in their behavior. They are one of the rarest Myers-Briggs personality types. They are introverts with a strong desire to succeed professionally and a passion for learning. This personality type enjoys activities that allow them to exercise their intellectual and creative faculties.
As such, a romantic relationship between them may appear improbable. After all, INTJs are practical and inspired by activities that push them mentally, whilst INFPs are more emotional and interested in arts such as knitting and crafts. Despite their significant thinker (T) – feeler (F) differences, however, this type of pair can have unexpectedly great compatibility.
Read on to explore everything there is to know about the INFP and INTJ relationship.
The INFP and INTJ Relationship
How Are INFPs and INTJs Similar?
INTJs and INFPs are both introverted, intuitive people, who love spending time alone and thinking creatively. Both find that their minds come alive in the stillness and peace of their alone time. They, therefore, polish or improve on each other’s ideas when they’re together. As such, theirs is a creative and passionate relationship.
They are also drawn to non-conformist beliefs and ideologies. In simple words, they are free-thinkers. They think about insights and possibilities and build their ideas/opinions.
INTJs look at the subjective, underlying meanings of things while INFPs think about concepts and branch their thoughts in all directions.
Both of these personality types place a high value on rationality, although INTJs far more than INFPs. They are more interested in gathering facts than conforming to social norms. That said, they don’t mind individualism and idiosyncrasy. They value raw honesty, commitment to one’s vision, and a more internalized approach to dealing with one’s own emotions.
INFPs and INTJs enjoy spending time outdoors albeit on different terms.
INFPs are outdoorsy and enjoy traveling and although INTJs are rarely interested in activities that involve dirt or dust, they do enjoy travel as long as certain provisions and comforts are in place. More often, these couples find common ground in the realm of art and entertainment, sharing interests in various genres of music, movies, and television.
How Are INFPs and INTJs Different?
The biggest difference between the two personalities is that INTJs prefer organization and logical thinking, whilst INFPs prefer emotional thinking and adaptability.
As such, when INTJs consider a decision, they consider the facts, the pros and disadvantages, and what will provide the most effective, quick, and workable outcome. Following that, they’ll consider their values – does this seem reasonable to them?
INFPs, on the other hand, consider their values, sentiments, and subjective ethics when making a decision. Is this the best option for them? Is there anything their emotions are telling them about it? What does their instinct tell them? Do they feel that it’s right?
Speaking of feelings, INFPs have a hard time not taking things too personally. They are incredibly sensitive, and in such a relationship, one can only hope that they develop thicker skin from dealing with their partners whose words have no filters.
On the flip side, INTJs tend to be rational, which might make them appear harsh. They may make statements that upset those who are more sensitive, and they may not always have the patience to wait for certain things.
INTJs are also self-motivated and driven individuals who like to work alone. INFPs, on the other hand, thrive on forming bonds with people. INFPs are conscientious and open-minded, even though they love their alone time. As such, they enjoy listening to others and evaluating their frames of mind. INFPs’ capacity to consider other people’s feelings and INTJs’ ability to stay focused on a goal can help the two personalities work together to build a well-rounded team.
What Do INTJs Find Attractive?
INTJs are deep, thoughtful people who seek the same qualities in a spouse. They want someone with whom they can discuss ideas, theories, and implications. They also enjoy being with partners who are passionate, imaginative, innovative, and enthusiastic. Because INTJs are open and honest, they seek a mate who will show them their actual self.
Furthermore, INTJs are drawn to those with whom they can envision a long-term relationship. They are looking for somebody that will be upfront and honest with them to build a lasting relationship. Last but not least, intelligence is crucial to an INTJ; intelligence, intellectualism, creativity, and smartness are all qualities that INTJs value in their partners.
What Do INFPs Find Attractive?
INFPs are passionate, empathetic, and smart people. INFPs not only want to be fond of their partners, but they also want to know everything there is to know about them and form a deep, emotional connection.
For these profoundly passionate people, true love is a type of great intimacy. To them, love is understanding and accepting one another’s thoughts, heart, strengths, shortcomings, and anxieties.
Aside from that, they are frequently drawn to brilliance and those who use their minds in unusual ways. They are also drawn to someone sincere and truthful when dealing with them. They find someone authentic to be incredibly alluring, whereas someone false or shallow is the polar opposite. Finally, they place high importance on kindness and emotional stability.
What Do INFPs Typically Think of INTJs?
Since their personality is typically warmly concerned and caring towards others, INFPs accept INTJs as they are. They admire INTJs for their intelligence and brilliance. While the INTJ comes off as cold, the sensitive and perceptive INFP understands that everyone has their weaknesses.
The INFP, therefore, focuses on the INJTs strong points which are strong-mindedness, sincerity, and focus towards a goal. They tend to respect INTJs who prefer clarity and closure and stick with the plan rather than going with the flow. These and other “J” attributes make INFPs look up to a partner who is an INTJ.
While other personality types may dismiss the INTJ as overly nerdy, INFPs, who are often quirky and unusual themselves, may find it endearing. Furthermore, INFPs are more likely to trust INTJs who strive to be nonjudgmental of INFP emotions and ideas.
Because INTJs and INFPs are introverted personalities, it may take some time for them to trust each other, but with intentional effort, they can build a strong bond.
Similarly, INTJs value the fact that INFPs are not only prepared to entertain their complex ideas, but also appear genuinely interested in them. They also admire that INFPs are capable of understanding much of what they have to say. Lastly, they relish INFPs’ curiosity, eagerness to learn, and explorative spirit.
6 Reasons Why INFPs and INTJs Are Good Together
1. They are both considerate of one other’s personal space.
Both INTJs and INFPs have a strong need for personal autonomy. They both want to be independent and require a lot of alone time to examine their thoughts and feelings. Because they are both introverts, they will most likely give each other the space and autonomy they require.
2. They’re both devoted to each other.
INFPs and INTJs take their interpersonal responsibilities very seriously. They are fully committed and loyal. Neither of them is expected to be “players” in the game. When they’re in a relationship, they have strong, passionate feelings for each other and are unlikely to be wishy-washy or uncaring about the person they choose to love.
3. They help each other overcome their weaknesses.
INFPs can assist INTJs in being more aware of their inner feelings and emotions. They can assist them in making decisions by encouraging them to consider what matters to them on a subjective, internal level. As such, INTJs can work on being considerate and conscious of other people’s feelings.
INTJs, on the other hand, can assist INFPs in refining their objectives and strategizing themselves to achieve their goals. They can inspire INFPs to pursue their dreams rather than just dreaming about them because they know how to break down big tasks into smaller steps.
4. Their connection is characterized by a strong value system.
Another benefit of this type of couple is that it has a strong moral bond. Both individuals place a high value on things like loyalty, integrity, family, and education. They may also have a strong desire to solve social, political, or other issues, and they may adopt a reformer or activist perspective.
While INTJs and INFPs may not have a lot of chemistry at first, as they spend more time together, they are astonished to find that their relationship has a lot of promise for love, intimacy, and friendship.
5. They inspire each other’s creativity.
INFPs and INTJs will likely spend many hours immersed in deep talks about the future; all they could do, all they could experience, and all the mysteries in life they desire to discover since they are more drawn to what “might be” than what “is.”
When they sit down to watch movies together, they’ll almost certainly be drawn to inventive, important films or shows that spark new ideas. This will in turn develop in their personal endeavors where they fuel each other’s creativity.
6. They’re both insatiably curious and free thinkers.
INFPs and INTJs are both drawn to new and creative approaches to problems. They like collecting facts and discovering new theories. They’d rather think outside the box than take the safe route, and this mutual desire can lead them down a variety of intriguing intellectual paths. As a result, these two individuals are self-sufficient, autonomous thinkers who establish their own opinions that are not influenced by society.
3 Reasons Why INFP and INTJ Relationships Don’t Work Out
1. They have different approaches to making decisions.
When INFPs and INTJs make decisions, INFPs prioritize their values and personal sentiments, whilst INTJs prioritize reasoning and weighing the pros and drawbacks.
INFPs may be curious about how INTJs “feel” about the decision, while the INTJ may dismiss this as irrelevant. INFPs may be advised by INTJs to “get through” their emotions and concentrate on the reasoning first.
If one or both personalities are impatient, this might lead to a blazing disagreement or bitter argument.
2. They have distinct perspectives about the future.
INTJs prefer their life to be planned, decided, and prepared. When there is no structure or clear direction in their lives, they can feel agitated and angry. INFPs, on the other hand, are more adaptable and laid-back. They may feel suffocated by having all of their time planned out.
INFPs are more inclined to go about their day in a relaxed, leisurely manner, whereas INTJs are more likely to go about their day with a clear plan, a to-do list, and precise goals. Both of these personalities might get on each other’s nerves if they refuse to accommodate the other’s needs.
3. Working through disagreements can be extremely difficult
INFP-INTJ couples, like other type pairings, may struggle to communicate effectively and work through conflict and disagreement. As Judging (J) personalities, INTJs are naturally drawn to be “teachers” and “fixers.” They feel that, given enough time and information, they can solve practically any problem, including those that arise in their relationships. This is because they consider themselves educated and insightful.
While INFPs are usually keen students who love hearing what the INTJ has to say, they don’t want their feelings to be scrutinized without their permission. INFPs may therefore feel cornered when INTJs bring attention to their unpleasant moods or feelings.
Final Thoughts: INFP and INTJ Relationships
Introverts and extroverts are the most typical personality pairings, lending credence to the “opposites attract” theory. The INTJs and INFPs combination is an outlier in this tendency.
Although they do not have a “love at first sight” experience due to their lower energy gradient, they have a lot of promise for a working partnership. INFPs may be drawn to INTJs because of their focus, discipline, and intellect, while INTJs may be drawn to INFPs because of their creativity, empathy, warmth, and enthusiasm.